Show me the world

Today was the worst day of my life.You made me cry.You made my friends see me cry.You seriously don't deserve to be part of my life.You think you know what's best for me,but you don't.You think by controlling me,keeping me like a caged bird,I'll study hard and get what you want.I listened to you when you say no,whatever you want me to do,I never fail to say yes.But when I'm trying to be good,you don't appreciate.So I'm not going to fucking care what you think anymore.I'm not even going to treat you as my _____ anymore.Go die okay.Just GO AND DIE..

MOVING ON.

You don't want to move on.
You don't want to let go.
Because you feel that if you let go,you'll lose hold of your life.
You'll lose control.
You think you'll go crazy.

But no.

You can move on,
you just don't want to,
whether you know it or not.
Moving on doesn't mean you'll lose control.
Moving on doesn't mean you've given up.
Moving on doesn't mean you're weak.
Moving on means you're strong.
Strong enough to face your past and accept it.
Strong enough to conquer it and focus on your future.
Strong enought to control your life.

blobattack

Happily Ever After Person

Maybe that's just the way it is.Why is it just so hard to accept this happy moment and stay in it forever? Why do I just feel so insecured? I'll just be lying if I told you that nothing was wrong when I asked you those questions.You can make me so happy at times,but you can also make me feel so down.I love you,and I know that's not enough to make us last forever.It's just not how it's meant to be.

It's better to be alone.

Today was tiring like hell.I didn't know camp planning was so tough! So many meetings and stuff.I don't even think I'll have time to study for SA2 ): Higher Mother Tongue test on Monday and I've yet to study.Hiaz.Stress much.

Until Forever

Do you know that from the moment I saw first saw you
It was you Let’s walk together on the road in front of us
A beautiful day is spread out in front of us
* I WANNA BE WITH YOU MY LOVE
I promise you under the sky
I will protect you
For eternity
I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER
Can you see it, my heart
Please breathe beside me
For eternity
I love you
I love you *
Do you know that you are my happiness
I will confess my love, forever please
Be by my side
* REPEAT
Any challenge that comes our way
Let’s overcome it with our love
** Please look at me for eternity
Please hold me for eternity
Love me for eternity
So that we’ll be happy
Looking at only you for eternity (Forever)
I pray that we’ll be happy **
* REPEAT (** REPEAT)
* REPEAT (** REPEAT)
I WANNA BE WITH YOU MY LOVE
I promise you under the sky
I will protect you
For eternity
I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER
I hope that our love will be happy
Let’s create by ourselves
Beautiful days
I love you
For eternity

I LOVE YOU.

I can still feel you.

I know you're waiting for the feeling to come back.Truthfully,I can still feel you.But I'm unsure of what I'm actually feeling now.What I heard today,made me really think about us.Love is a strong emotion.I don't know if how you feel about me is how I feel about you.Am I the one,or am I merely just a crush? Was it a moment of impulse when you said that you wanted to be with me? Because I find it happened too sudden.Did you really think through when you said that? And get yourself into this relationship? I want to know the truth because I don't want to be hurt at the end.

TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.

All it takes is time.When someone says, "I'll never ever be able to get over him/her",
that is absolutely false.In time,you will learn how to let go and move on.
Accept whatever happened to you,take it as a positive experience,
and use it to start a new chapter in life.
That's part of transition.Don't ever say you can't or never will because that just means you're not even trying.
A new beginning will unfold
and some of the greatest happenings in life will result from big changes like this.
So stop sulking over what can't be changed or dwell on the past
because that will only hold you back.
Take a deep breath,say goodbye to history, and move on forward.
That's the secret to happiness.

b0lin9

Meant to be?

Coincidence? Or fate? Is this meant to be? Will I ever find that feeling? Will things go back to normal? You're not giving up on me,so I'm not going to give up on myself.Even if knowing this makes me doubt about the possibility of us,I'm not going to give up searching for the feeling.Until I can feel that it's really gone.

I DON'T DESERVE.

I wish I can end all of this.I wish I can end my life.I don't deserve to be in this world.I don't deserve to be alive.I don't deserve you to love me so much.When all I can do is RUIN IT WITH MY NUMEROUS INSECURITIES and break your heart.One way or another,I'll always still love you,but you shouldn't be with me.Because I DON'T DESERVE YOU.

Lost.

I don't know what to do now.I'm losing confidence in myself.What if I can't find it? What if it isn't there like I wish it were? What if it's gone and never coming back? I don't want to end this too.But what happen to that very very important thing? Why is it gone? Why?! I really don't know how to face you if I can't find it.I feel really bad right now. You love me so much,you did so many things for me.And yet all I can do is to hurt you and break your heart.I wish someone can just send a punch across my face.Because I deserve it.

Gone.

Everything is wrong now.Suddenly,my mind becomes so clear.I lost it.I'm sorry,but I lost what I used to have.I don't know what happen,I really don't know.It used to be there,but now it's gone.Will things ever be the same again? I don't want to let you know ever.Hopefully,it'll come back to me somehow.I just want things to work.But then sometimes I find that it's better off last time.I hope I'm not making any sense,and I hope you'll never get to understand this.I don't want you to ever find out what I lost.I don't want to break your heart after so many things you've done for me.I hope it's still there and I will be able to find it.Please let it be there.I'm confused and stressed out.Why again? In my dream world,things seem to okay.But not reality.



NATALIE LOW.I'M SORRY.

Stress.

So many things going on.So many upcoming activities,problems yet to solve and piles of homework.I beginning to feel the stress I used to have:( First things on my list,is to get out of council,then faster finish planning the camp.Teachers keep telling us to revise for exams,but like there's time to do that now!

Got home really late today.Stayed back to discuss planning of camp thing.Tomorrow still have to go to school.Hiaz.Today,ran around looking for teachers with Amelia today during recess.Sexuality talk-boring. Found out some really lame stuff.Please la,I don't care if you like me or not.It's not your business.Plus,I don't even know you-.- Netball during PE-FUN :D best thing that happened today(: Didn't get to slack today cause of maths remedial.SUCK TTM.Because of maths remedial,I cannot have the soya milk challenge.TSK.Janice,you promise me one okay! :D Guides not so good today.Footdrill :/ Hand ached like hell. Got back most of my papers,except geog.The teacher mark super slow!

English- 19/25 A1

Maths-30/50 B4

Physics- 29/40 A2

HCL- 21/50 D7 i think.

History- 21/25 A1

Literature- 18/25 A2

Whatever.

Damn pissed off now.I just don't know what else you want me to do.Whatever you say,I try to listen and obey.I'm already very good already,don't you know it? Even when you only allow me to use the laptop during weekends,I don't complain.But,even on the two days where I can use the laptop,you set time limits for me.Don't I get to relax for just two days.Is studying 5 days a week not enough for you? At least I still try to obey you.What's worse is that you doubt me.When I'm staying back in school,you think I'm sneaking off somewhere to hang out with my friends.If you don't believe me,why don't you come to school and check on me?! You don't want to come and check,then you anyhow make assumptions.Seriously,what's the point of lying to you?! I want to go somewhere,I will just tell you.Why must I stoop so low and lie to you to go somewhere with my friends.Still dare to tell me is not you say I cannot stay back.Please la.Daddy won't even care whether I stay back or not,just as long as I get good results.But you? You only know how to doubt me,scold me,criticise me.Not all teenagers are ah lians you know.Just because I'm a teenager now,you become stricter with me.From now on,I don't fucking care anymore.I'm going to be who I want to be,you not happy,then that's your fucking problem.Even when I try my hardest to be a good girl,you don't appreciate.You think I live to put up with you is it?

You brought COLOURS in my life

To that really special SOMEONE, what you said today made me very very touched.I want to last long with you too.And now I know what I really mean to you(: You will always have a very special place in my heart.YOU BROUGHT COLOURS IN MY LIFE.You are always there even when we quarrel.You know how to make me forgive and forget.You give me life lessons :) I just cannot imagine life without you.I LOVE YOU :D but i love KJ more ;)

Playful Kiss.

Playful Kiss is the Korean remake of the Taiwanese drama It Started With a Kiss (sequel They Kiss Again), which in turn, is based on the Japanese manga Itazura na Kiss (イタズラなKiss) by mangaka Kaoru Tada.

The story is about a high school girl who likes a senior who is handsome, talented and aloof. She confesses to him through a love letter, but he rejects her. Fatefully, an earthquake destroys the home she shares with her father. Her father’s college friend offers them a hand, and they move in to live with him. Coincidentally, the son is the senior she is in love with.



I want to watch this! Starring KIM HYUN JOONG !!!! :D

Great.

Today was great :D Slacking after school before cca was the best! Ate a lot all of a sudden today.Two plates of rice for lunch(: Pizza and noodles for recess.Haha.My friends were shocked when they saw me eating again :D "Meditated" with Janice. Ended up having unglam shots taken.Actually can go to suntec,but then they told us at the last minute that cca will be excused.So didn't get to go:( but then cca was fun today! Ended earlier than normal.Slacked with Eunice,Sheng Zhi and Shermin.

FINALLY.

Pissed.

Really angry now.Damn it la.CB.Now what? I have to start over all over again is it? FUCK.Can't be bothered anymore,i'll just do it myself.At least I know I can rely on myself.

Sorry okay.I really cannot tell you.Trust me, you won't like it.It'll just ruin our relationship.I hate to keep things from you,but I really have my own reasons why I can't tell you.Sorry.Please just understand okay.If not,I really don't know what to do.I've been having a really fucking bad day.So please.

THIS WEEK SUCKS.

Decisions.

Went to school for YOG Cheer the flame today.Funny(: Standing under the rain,waiting for the flame to come.When it finally came,it just took merely a few seconds and we went back to school.Enjoyed the rain though :D Met my weird gf,ate really early lunch.Then bought SS501,KYU JONG,HYUN JOONG photographs :D :D :D real happy today!

Confused now.Is this what I really want? If it is,then why do I feel like this? Have I taken a wrong step? Is it too late to go back? Who else will I hurt?

Worried

Hmm..seems like my new job now is to be worried for everything.Worried for so many people,worried for so many things.It's just NOT NORMAL.What's wrong? It's like my problems are endless,one after another! Sigh..

JANICE,LAVINIA, CHEER UP :)

Speak the truth.

Today sucks.School was real noisy today.Had fun with someone during the celebration,haha(: but was too tired to be high.Muscle aching like hell.Hiaz.Heard some news today.Don't feel like talking about it.So....Lavinia,cheer up okay?

I LOVE YOU HAHAHA!!

it's just that kind of feeling i can't seem to understand you know?

I LOVE YOU.

To YOU!! YOU want the answer to your question?



It's up there :D

JANICE!! YOU'RE AWESOME TOO :D

Breakdown.

I want to disappear.It's too much already.I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.I thought I knew.But I was wrong.I want to breakdown.Why are all this happening to me? Suddenly,I miss my primary school so much.Problems back then were so easy to solve.Now,it's not that simple.To solve one problem,I have to hurt so many.Do I really have a choice anymore? I only hope I can disappear now.Maybe all my problems will disappear with me.If all this was just a dream.I would want to wake up now.I would like to believe that the good life is out there somewhere.But then,the good life is not for me.Not anymore.Cause my problems are just the beginning.

Just let me breakdown for once.Please.I need to cry.