I hope your love is always happy.

Joongboer

SHIMIN
Thirteen,16 April.
CHIJ St.Joseph's Convent,Girl Guides.
I'm a TRIPLE S, JOONGBOER, HENECIA, TAECZY SHIPPER, HOTTEST & SAY A!
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You hate JoongBo,I hate you.

"I hope your love is always happy" - Hwang Bo

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Running Out

January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 October 2011

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Now I see.

Monday, April 4, 2011 @ 8:24 PM

So I guess now it's a new beginning all over again.

I don't know if it's the right decision but I'm just going to give it a try.

But there's something I want you to know, before you decide if you're still going to continue with this or not.

I still have feelings for him, I still think of him a lot and it'll probably be like that for a long time.

What I have for for him, and what I've gone through with him is not something easy to forget.

So, I'm sorry. Because I know it's not fair to you.

I don't know if you're okay with it or not, but if you're not okay with it, I don't know what I can do.

Before we started, I already knew this would happen. But I still wanted to take the dare.

Now, I'm not so sure anymore.

I think I'll leave it to you to decide if you want this to continue.

I don't want to make things unfair for you, so I'm letting you make the decision.

It's not that I can't forget. It's partly because I don't want to forget. I know I'm being selfish.

But if I forget that most wonderful moments of my life, I don't think my life will have any meaning anymore.

At least when I'm upset,I think back and I can feel better. I hope you understand.

Labels: feelings, him, unfair, you

Dig it all out.I don't want to feel anymore.

Thursday, February 10, 2011 @ 6:08 PM

This week has been pretty much hell for me.
CT1 is ending as quickly as it started.
So far,there isn't a paper that make me say "I'll confirm fail" YET.Not even HCL.
It turned out to be easier a little this year.
Many things approaching: HEATS,Milo triathlon,Sports Day,Beijing.
And guess what? I pulled my calf muscle at a time like this.
Fuck.I'm super pissed off with myself.
I feel like just fucking pulling my entire leg out.
I feel so useless.I feel like a burden now with this fucking injury.
It takes me sooooooo long to alight from the bus and walk to the interchange.
I can't even catch up with my friends even when they're walking slowly.
I can even do simple things like climb the staircase properly and walk.
I look just so fucking stupid limping all the way.
Stupid leg.I still want to do sports so please don't be a problem.
Please let me recover soon.

I feel like just fucking digging out my heart and soul.
I don't want to feel anything anymore.
It's so fucking annoying to always be reminded of you and feel sad all over again inside.
I'm sick of this feeling and yet I'm not able to control it.
I'm sick of crying already.
I'm sick of always staring into space and think about you unintentionally.
I shoudn't have befriend you seriously.
Causing so much pain and hurt to me,I wonder if you know it.
I heard something in history today that immediately made me think about you.
The way you feel inside affects yourself physically.
The emotional pain inside is now affecting me on the outside also.
Why did I fucking treat you like a treasure when I was just your trash.
Even after having so many reasons to hate you,I can't bring myself to.

I drown myself in your voice to make me feel better for awhile.To be immune to all pain and for the tears to come naturally.You sang a song called "The Strength to Smile".I hope I'm going to have that soon.

Labels: feelings, the strength to smile

You can't force love.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010 @ 8:50 PM

071110

Went out to celebrate bro's birthday.New York New York for lunch.Hot plate spagetti (Y). Didn't get to drink my apple cooler though.But I got a gigantic cup of Rootbeer float instead :D. Saw the shop at AMK right outside the restaurant. ♥ Bugis next.Wanted to buy USB cable for camera but they don't sell.So...going to buy a new cardreader.Went to Bugis Junction just to see the shop ♥.I think I'm crazy.My dad said he's quite handsome (Y).To me,he's more than just "handsome".(: Bought McFlurry again.3 days in a row^^. Had a break at Toastbox.Ate toast,drank ice lemon tea,plus my McFlurry.Felt super full buttttt had to go to Grandma's house to eat dinner.At first thought that we were going to just eat porridge only.Who knows they decided to give us a treat cause bro's birthday.In the end,had a very heavy dinner.I felt bloated ttvm.At night,Grandma not feeling well.Heart beating super fast.Drove her to the hospital.

081110

Went back to school for guides meeting.Saw many people making cca banners at the basement.Lavinia were there.(: Got grape stickys from Peixuan.Went into guides room and cut fishes.Used our fingers to apply orange paint on the fish.First time doing it,fun.(: Had lunch at KFC.Some weird man came to joke with us.Super weird,I think he escaped from IMH or something.But some jokes were funny.I couldn't stop laughing but I had to control.When we went back to school later,the school blacked out.But the weird thing is that the aircon in the com lab is still running even though they said that the whole school had no electricity.Waited for the electricity to come back so that we can do our proposals but waited very long.So Mr He(?) lent us his laptop.After doing proposals,laughed about the weird man just now and some other stuff.Super funny. :D Went to compass,comics connection.Found super awesome pictures! ♥ Waited for dad to come fetch me then went to hospital.The hospital is new and the bed's super soft.Bought cakes at Northpoint then home.Maggee for dinner.

091110

Woke up at 10 plus this morning.Felt great cause didn't get good sleep for many nights.Had breakfast then went to fetch Grandma from hospital.Watched Fated to Love You the whole day.Doughnuts and Bubbletea for lunch.Did a little bit of homework then watch tv again.My packet of stickys are almost gone.): Waited and waited.Then finally,my dad's friend came to return my computer. :D Now it's faster and no more virus.Haha.

I did not play with your feelings.I tried to like you the way you want me to.But I realised that I cannot.I want to have a normal life.I don't want to be held back.I don't want to always have to think about how you would feel when I want to do something.I think it will be better if we were friends.My life has been upside down for a long time,I want it to be normal again.Sorry but you can't force love.I'm sorry if I made you cry.And it's not that you're not attractive,it's all in the heart.If it's not meant to be,you can't force it.So,don't blame yourself.I'm sorry if I didn't tell you how I really felt earlier.But one thing is that,what I want is something you can never give me.

Labels: feelings

I'd rather hurt.

Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 5:45 PM

Awesome day today.Laughed a lot.Our conversation can actually range from fashion to which animal we look like.LOL.I'm a fox :D haha! I don't mind(: I think foxes are cute.Lavinia say I look like squirrel-.- One thing for sure.Janice is looks like a LUO HAN YU,because of her number one forehead! :D HAHA.Made fun of her a lot today :D Love the part when Lavinia started comforting Janice, "it's okay to have a big forehead,cause you won't lose out".Damn funny! Lavinia looks like a rabbit,Amelia is a cat and Peixuan is fishball,pearl and tomato.Fox eat rabbit,Cat eat Luo Han Yu! HAHA.PERFECT FOODCHAIN :D JANICE,I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU HAVE BIG FOREHEAD!! HAHAHAHA!! :D

I hate having to always smile.I hate feeling numb.But maybe it's better this way,cause it won't hurt.But it sucks to have no feelings.I sick of pretending.How long have this lasted.Since the beginning of this year? I HATE LIFE.

Don’t promise me forever, just love me day by day. No one knows the future, we’re young, but that’s okay.

Labels: awesome, feelings, janice, lavinia

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