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    The biggest blow yet.
    Thursday, April 14, 2011 @ 9:00 PM



    FML.
    After all this while, I still can't believe it.
    It just hit me like this. I thought I'll never have to go through this in my life.
    So much to deal with, now yet another blow.
    I'm feel like I'm going to just collapse, but I'll stay strong.
    I don't even know why I cried, what is my fucking problem.
    Why did I fucking show this side of me to people I don't want them to see?
    Why didn't I fucking hold everything in?
    Why,why, why?
    I don't get why you're hiding something so important from me.
    If it wasn't for her, i wouldn't even know.
    I'm at the right age to understand this already.
    Why are you fucking treating me like a kid still.
    You think I'll never find out?
    Because of her sake, I'm pretending I don't know.
    But I hope you'll tell me personally.
    I'm your daughter, whatever happens, I'll be there even if I don't really like you that much sometimes.
    We're not close, we can't speak with familiarity, but still you are my mum.
    I wish you will have that little trust in me.

    Anyway, school sucked today.
    Was feeling so restless the entire day, and that topic just keeps coming up no matter how much I want to avoid it.
    Disappointed Miss Choo, pissed off with some remarks made my some people.
    Sorry Amelia and Phyllis for snapping at you all today.
    Fucking annoyed with someone. URGH.
    Wanted to go running today but was raining super heavily.
    So had lunch and walked around compass with rat, then bus-ed home together.
    We survived. The lighting didn't strike any trees and kill us. HAHA.
    Time is passing way too fast.

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