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Tuesday, March 22, 2011 @ 9:07 PM
    I thought I'll never have to deal with all this again. I thought I could escape all this by ignoring it and pretending it never happened. It worked for a while. And I totally regret not ignoring longer. Everything would be fine. I'm always doing things I regret. Forced to come up with a decision. You'll never understand how hard it is for me to choose between you and him. Either way,I get hurt, you get hurt, he gets hurt. Decisions makes everything worse.The already close relationship I have with him and you. Will be gone the minute I say something. Everything will just go back to being awkward and we'll all drift apart. And now, even when the decision is not made, there's already a distance. You won't understand how every move I choose to make hurts me. And to add on to this, someone I love just got admitted to the hospital. Endless worrying about all this problems and yet I still have to make a choice. Is it really the right time? Did you really spare a thought for me and what I'm going through? When you asked me to make a decision, did you think about me. Did you even spare a thought for him, he doesn't know all this and he just told me some things. And now, without him knowing, I'm making a decision? It doesn't seem fair to him right? It's not that I don't like you or him, it's just that I don't want to feel trapped in a relationship all over again. Anyway, I'll just continue ignoring even though it seems too late. Everything doesn't matter anymore. We're all too young to talk about these things. Fainted the first time in my life today.It was an experience I'll never forget. The fever is back. Please last this time. PLEASE. |