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Thirteen,16 April.
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Thursday, March 24, 2011 @ 9:13 PM
     This is just tiring me out. I've never felt so exhausted and worn out in my entire life. It's stressing my mind too much that my body is getting affected too. It's hard to get some expression on my face. It's hard to even concentrate on something other than this. It's affecting my health. I feel faint, my chest pains and breathing difficulties are back. The area beside my stomach just have this incredibly sharp pain from time to time. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm gonna survive another day. I'm gonna make it. I'll keep telling this to myself. I can't collapse, not now. The problem is still ongoing. I don't know how to solve it. My mind tells me to ignore everything, my heart seeks for the answer. I'm weighing the pros and cons of every decision I'm going to make. I don't think it's the best choice to decide to take the dare. I still don't trust your heart, and I don't know if history will repeat itself. I don't know if it will stay a secret if I take the dare, I don't know what I will lose. It's unfair for you too. To have feelings for both of you, means that either way, when I'm with you or him, my mind will somehow be thinking about the other party. There will be certain things that will remind me of you or him. I seriously need to think through really carefully. Unless I can be really sure everything will be according to what I hope it will be, I can't make a decision. Just what can I do now. Don't waste any of your time anymore for something that isn't worth waiting for. |