Mood haven been sort of better I guess.

Sometimes the bad mood comes back, but I can control it now.

Even though school started late today and I woke up like around 7, I was still feeling so tired.

Couldn't concentrate well in class, couldn't focus on the bio test.

My mind was roaming everywhere except on the test, where it should be.

Just hope lady luck will be with me. But it's only a mini test, so even if fail also never mind.

I'm getting really annoyed easily when I talk to people and they either don't reply me, or show me that emotionless face.

So many class things that needs to be done.

Still gotta do art, CIP. And tentpitching competition this saturday.

Barely even have time to relax. Sec 2 life is hell.

Had lunch with rat and nerine today.

Major awkwardness. The most quiet lunch I've ever had.

I tried and tried and tried to get them to make friends but nothing happen.

In the end, just decided to forget it. Antisocial people!

Bought Peixuan's bday present, walked around then bused home with rat.

Bro is sick again. I wish it was me! I need a break from school urgently. :(

Labels: tired

Labels: i don't know, lesson, pissed, stress

Sometimes I wonder if I'm even thinking about myself of not.

Labels: think

Flashbacks are sad sometimes. JoongBo proves it. Yeah, I miss them again.

This week was stressful, miserable, exhausting.But today turned out a little better.

Maybe it's because of the bright weather, or maybe it's the laughing that made my mood sort of better than usual.

Came to school feeling so expressionless.Couldn't force expressions on my face from chem all the way to aesthetics.

Felt quite pissed also, for no reason whatsoever.

Maybe it's that asshole during recess that made my mood bad.

AE was hilarious. Nerine and Shermin totally crack me up and got me rolling on the floor.

After that my mood improved somehow, I think I vented all my frustration on the class debate during EL.

Had to meet at 2.30 to go Guides HQ at Bishan for tent-pitching.

Got pissed off again when I had to meet for some monitors stuff, super rush for time and all then still have to meet

In the end, just when to canteen to clean my scrape and put plaster.

The plaster didn't help at all lor. Super painful when bathing just now.

The scrape reminds me of PPS times. Where I'll always fall down at least once a year and scrape my knee damn badly.

I miss primary school times. ):

Lend PE shirt from the small kid then took 156 to Bishan.

Tent-pitching was fun but really tiring. I know how to pitch a tent! (Y)

Finished at around 6.30 then went to buy KOI bubble tea with Victoria and co. .

MRT-ed home with Rachel after that.

She super cute lah, don't seem like sec 4 at all. Somemore I around same height as her. :P

I'M GROWING TALLER. YES YES! ^^

I realise I can talk to her quite comfortably, normally I'll feel awkward when talking to people I'm not close with. But talking to her today was okay!(:

Tiring day today, piles of homework gotta finish in just 2 days. DAMN.

WAHWAHWAH, NATALIE LOW IS A BABY BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT!

Labels: homework, mood, tent-pitching

This is just tiring me out.

I've never felt so exhausted and worn out in my entire life.

It's stressing my mind too much that my body is getting affected too.

It's hard to get some expression on my face.

It's hard to even concentrate on something other than this.

It's affecting my health. I feel faint, my chest pains and breathing difficulties are back.

The area beside my stomach just have this incredibly sharp pain from time to time.

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm gonna survive another day. I'm gonna make it.

I'll keep telling this to myself. I can't collapse, not now.

The problem is still ongoing. I don't know how to solve it.

My mind tells me to ignore everything, my heart seeks for the answer.

I'm weighing the pros and cons of every decision I'm going to make.

I don't think it's the best choice to decide to take the dare.

I still don't trust your heart, and I don't know if history will repeat itself.

I don't know if it will stay a secret if I take the dare, I don't know what I will lose.

It's unfair for you too.

To have feelings for both of you, means that either way, when I'm with you or him, my mind will somehow be thinking about the other party.

There will be certain things that will remind me of you or him.

I seriously need to think through really carefully.

Unless I can be really sure everything will be according to what I hope it will be, I can't make a decision.

Just what can I do now.

Don't waste any of your time anymore for something that isn't worth waiting for.

Labels: affected, exhausted, problems

I thought I'll never have to deal with all this again.

I thought I could escape all this by ignoring it and pretending it never happened.

It worked for a while. And I totally regret not ignoring longer.

Everything would be fine. I'm always doing things I regret.

Forced to come up with a decision.

You'll never understand how hard it is for me to choose between you and him.

Either way,I get hurt, you get hurt, he gets hurt.

Decisions makes everything worse.The already close relationship I have with him and you.

Will be gone the minute I say something.

Everything will just go back to being awkward and we'll all drift apart.

And now, even when the decision is not made, there's already a distance.

You won't understand how every move I choose to make hurts me.

And to add on to this, someone I love just got admitted to the hospital.

Endless worrying about all this problems and yet I still have to make a choice.

Is it really the right time?

Did you really spare a thought for me and what I'm going through?

When you asked me to make a decision, did you think about me.

Did you even spare a thought for him, he doesn't know all this and he just told me some things.

And now, without him knowing, I'm making a decision?

It doesn't seem fair to him right?

It's not that I don't like you or him, it's just that I don't want to feel trapped in a relationship all over again.

Anyway, I'll just continue ignoring even though it seems too late.

Everything doesn't matter anymore. We're all too young to talk about these things.

Fainted the first time in my life today.It was an experience I'll never forget.

The fever is back. Please last this time. PLEASE.

Labels: problems, stress

Labels: change, ignorance

BEIJING 120311-180311

Yay, finally back from Beijing.

Missed Singapore like crazy,Beijing is just too different.

The weather is too cold and dry.The people are too rude.

Made so many friends in just 7 days.

People whom I don't really like turned out to be really awesome people.

And not everyone from 1D has attitude problems,so please stop talking about them.

Went to so many historical places. All I can say is: it's BEAUTIFUL.

The Great Wall was freaking awesome.

I want to climb again. Although it was only 888m, it was super tiring.But really really fun.

I'll never forget how me,lavinia and eunice ran up the last 100m+. ^^

So sick of restaurant food now, I miss my grandma's cooking!

Hmm,too lazy to blog about everything but I'm super glad I went.

Now, homework is waiting for me. URGH.

Feeling super upset now cause PARK JUNGMIN is in SG.

And I can't go and see him.Who knows when he'll ever come again. ):

FREAKING SAD NOW. :'(

I hope my fever will last longer so that I won't have to go school on monday!

The picture above reminded me that I haven't started learning how to fold paper cranes. :/

I don't know.

Labels: beijing, paper cranes, parkjungmin

Last day of school before March holidays! Going Beijing tomorrow, can't wait.

But got a little homesick already.): 7 days no internet.UH.

I only feel like going there to have fun, don't want to go school luh.

Sports Day today also.

This year Sports day seem so quiet. Hardly hear any cheers at all.

But St.Elizabeth Cheerleading was AWESOME!

I don't get why we got second,should get first lor.

Felt really pissed off the entire day.Plus,not feeling well so mood was really really bad.

Headache,stomachache but still ran 4x100m and 4x4oom relay.

4x100 was a super failure,got 2nd last.Partially my fault also,didn't run well enough. :/

But 4x4oo was superb.Nicole and all damn pro.Got 3rd.(:

St.Elizabeth didn't perform well this year BUT, we will be even better next year!

Overall we're still the best yeah? Win for 9 years straight,we're still better than the rest!^^

Took bus to Hougang Mall with Nerine,Amelia and Janice.

Stupid bus uncle didn't see me and closed the door when my hand was still there.

Lucky didn't close fully or my hand will definitely break.Fuck him.

Have to wake up early tomorrow.):

RAT! Don't miss me until you cry hor! HAHA. :D

It's not that I don't like you, it's because your heart changes so quickly that it's hard for me to trust you again.

Labels: beijing, sports day

OMG.Sports Day is just tomorrow and I'm going to Beijing the day after tomorrow.
The week just zoomed by so fast!
It took me some time to finally register the fact that I'll be going to Beijing soon.Seriously can't wait!(:
School was frustrating today.Pissed off with people,teachers and homework.
Art sucks big time.
So many things to do, so little time.
Thank god I completed majority of the homework already,left with Home Econs and Art.
Had briefing after school then took 119 to compass with Nerine.
Rat owes me and her a bus ride!^^
It definitely gonna be awkwardness overload.HAHA.
Hope St.Elizabeth will win tomorrow!

Decisions are hard to make.
No matter what I choose,it's gonna hurt someone.
I'll rather not make any decisions if that's the case.
I'll just leave everything as it is now and hopfully things will turn out right.

Labels: beijing, decisions, sports day

This week has been pretty much busy.

Almost everyday going homework homework and more homework.

Have to try to finish everything by Beijing trip, which is THIS SAT. OMG HOW.):

So far left with commonwealth and lit,just hope no more homework will be coming my way.

Muscle acted up again during PE.Sucks big time.

Had lunch with Nerine and Santhiya after school.

Then went shopping for Nerine's jeans,present and ____.

Super fun. :D Bought my apple earpiece also. Cute ttm. <3

Sports day's coming soon. Luckily not running for 200m, but still running relay. :/

Really excited for saturday to come!^^

TO WEAK RAT ^^ :

HEHE, YOU WEAK THING! IDK WHAT TO WRITE HAHA.

Must take care of yourself okay. And don't everyday stone stone stone!

If you turn to stone I won't talk to you anymore!

Then also everytime sick one, weak weak weak!

Drink lots of water and don't sad all the time.

Will affect your health.(:

Haha, idk what to say already.

OHYA, I NEVER BULLY YOU HOR.

Labels: busy, rat

School was normal today.
Almost pulled my muscle again while running 2km.
What's wrong with my damn leg.
Monitor's investiture over finally.No more dreaded rehearsals man.
Lunch with Lavinia and Amelia at compass macs.
Laughed a lot.Super funny moments. :D
Sports Day and Beijing trip coming soon,excited.^^
But sad cause I won't be able to see PARK JUNG MIN. ):

I don't know what to do.
I know who I want,but I also know what will happen if I make my decisions.
I've already broken two, I don't want to break another one.
But it's never going to happen.It's impossible.
Well, you're so unpredictable, I can't believe you.
Your heart changes as fast a bullet train.
I know who I want,but I'm scared he won't want me anymore.
I didn't treasure him, broke his heart and now,I want him back.
Hiaz,seriously,what should I do.

Labels: school, you